Surviving #NoYayaProblems

Sometimes I wish have the kind of super power or magic that in just a snap of a finger, our house will be neat and clean, there is food in our table, then I can just eat, lay down afterwards and rest my mind to get that much needed sleep.

But in reality, specially for a working mom like me who needs to go to work in daytime and attend to my baby’s needs after working hours… Even a clean house is almost not achievable. I had to accept it. There was a time that I felt physically and emotionally drained because I am tired of commuting to and from work and I still have chores to do. I have to cook food, clean the house before I pick – up my son from my in-laws’ house (just a building away from our home) and wait for my husband there to arrive since we have different working shifts. Once he arrives, we’ll head back toย our home, I try to put Gabriel to sleep by breastfeeding him and if successful, I will then pre-wash the used cloth diapers of the day. I am lucky if I accomplish all of those by 11 o’clock in the evening. But usually, 12 in the midnight is when I will crawl up to bed with my husband and Gabriel to catch some sleep. After 3-4 hours, I will to have wake up and prepare for work again. That’s a cycle.

As much as I wanted to get a house helper, we just can’t because we are living in a condo unit and we have no space for her as of the moment. So I have to face the #NoYayaProblems. Good thing, I am still breathing. I know I am surviving. And as I go on this journey of learning motherhood and family life, I have realized some few things I think I could share the world with.

 

1) Say goodbye to a clean house.

I think this is one of the hardest thing I’ve learned on this motherhood journey. Though we only live on a small space, maintaining our home neat and clean is a mission impossible. Other mommies taught me about this as well. No matter how hard I try, if I will have to do it all by myself and without a house helper, I will end up not only exhausted but also unhappy in a way.

Once, I stumble upon an infographic while I was browsing facebook.

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A Mother’s Pyramid

It hit me hard because it made me realize that I really cannot do it all at the same time. I am not a super momma at all. And now I know why there are times that I feel like I am gonna go crazy any moment. It’s just hard to have the kind of balance in life. We can never have it all. That’s why for me, I just chose to let go of the idea of having a well cleaned house for me and my son to stay happy. ๐Ÿ™‚

 

2) Cleaning Schedule and sticking to it (as much as possible).

I said in tip #1 that I learned to say goodbye to a clean house. But I didn’t mean that we live in a really messy, dirty house. I still make an effort to do household chores ONE AT A TIME. I just gave up doing too many things in a day (or night). As a solution, I made my own cleaning schedule. After work, I do one household chore on top of cooking food of course, and get it done so I can somehow sleep in peace.

 

3) I learned to Delegate.

We are women. We grew up to the idea that most household chores are done by women. But in my case, since we don’t have a house helper, it helps a lot that I can easily delegate some household tasks to my husband. And he is always willing to help, in all fairness to him. ๐Ÿ™‚ He does the washing of the dishes (because most of the time, I breastfeed Gabriel after we eat our meals), throws away the garbage, hangs the clothes after it’s been washed and put them in the cabinet once all dried up. So in case you’re already feeling drained and would like to get a little bit of rest, ask someone who lives with you and whom you think you can rely on for some little help. It might be your husband, or if you have kids who can already understand and is willing to do things for you then you’re lucky. Not only then you’re teaching them to do household chores but you’re also showing them the meaning of responsibility.

If you need help, ask. Then it will be given to you. Just don’t forget to say “Thank you!” ๐Ÿ™‚

 

4) Wake up early.

This one, I admit on not doing all the time. LOL! But this is a work-in-progress. It’s true that the early bird catches the worm. The earlier I get up from bed, the more things I will be able to accomplish. That means more time for rest and quality time with the family.

 

How about you? Are you a working mom with no house helper, too? How are you getting along with it? Share with me some tips on how are you surviving your motherhood journey! Hope to hear from you soon! ๐Ÿ™‚

The Importance of Trusting and Supporting Your Child’s Dreams

Two weeks ago, I’ve watched a viral video in Facebook wherein two siblings named Niana Guerrero and Ranz Kyleย are dancing – or perhaps grooving to the 2015 Hit Songs Sibling Dance. I really love their style and the little girl got that swag! They are really awesome dancers that I wanted to dance with them, too! Unfortunately, i’m not even a good dancer at all. So I’ve been dreaming about having kids who can dance as great and graceful as they do. Even I only have one child as of this writing, I am already hyped by the idea of recording Gabriel and his little sister’s (hopefully!!!) #SiblingGoals video in the near future. And it will go viral around the internet. They will be social media sensations. Who knows? They might even be invited to The Ellen DeGeneres TV Show!

Am I being too unrealistic? My first born’s just almost 10 months old. He can barely walk without someone guiding and holding him. My (imaginary) daughter’s not yet even conceived (because we plan of having her 4-5 years from now). And yet I am already dreaming of 2 kids dancing their way to stardom! Hey wait. Why not? They can be anything that they want (as long as it’s not related to drug and alcohol abuse). They can dance, sing, write and draw. They can succeed in anything they will choose to do. Yes they can. And I believe in them. Why won’t I? I am their mother, right?

Though I do not want to impose something to my child(ren) which they do not really like; or manipulate them to do something that is against their will. Except, maybe, on meal and bath times. Lol. I only want them to grow up as a dreamer. An aspirant. An achiever.

I want them to believe in themselves because mommy really do believe in them. I want to give them some of the things I felt I’ve been deprived of.

Confidence and support.

When I was still a child, I would often hear the words “you can’t”. Which can be hurtful to a child’s tiny heart. Plenty of times that the adults have told me that I do not dance gracefully. And so I never did. I used to sing my heart out but it’s unpleasant to the ears. That’s why I stopped doing so. I can hardly even stand in front of too many people without my hands shaking (i’m talking about dancing and singing here). Those are two of my heart’s frustrations because I could’ve been a good dancer or singer, only that I stopped exerting effort on enhancing those abilities because I felt that no one trusted me that I could do better on that. I grew up feeling anxious about this aspect of my life.

You see? Every word a child would hear specially from us parents, has a great impact on what they will become in the future. It can either crash their heart or strengthen it. It can destroy their dreams or encourage it.

I remember that my first dream was to become a teacher because that is my mother’s profession. And it changed over time. There was a time that I wanted to be a doctor. And a nurse. A cook. A dancer. An actress. And many more. Those dreams started as little dreams ’til I have finally figured out that I wanted to be a writer.

There are so many things that I know I CAN do but lack the courage to do so. And it can also happen to my children if I won’t show that I trust them. I must always show support and believe in the abilities of my children so they won’t grow up doubting themselves! Whatever it is that they will choose to do. Be it writing, singing, dancing or whatever their hearts desire is. I only want them to grow fully confident, enhancing their strengths and pushing their way to reaching their dreams or goals in life.

If they appear to be lousy singers or dancers, I wouldn’t care. They’re still little and has a long way to go. Their life have plenty of room for more improvement. I will sing or dance with them every single day even if my voice runs out or my knees get too tired.. Because they are never not good enough for mommy. Because for me, they are awesome kids with awesome dreams and they’ve got awesome parents who will always believe and support them all the way!

 

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Invest trust and plant seed of confidence to every child. You’ll never know what they could become.