Gaining Confidence On Breastfeeding

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This is me and Gabriel at Island Cove Hotel and Leisure Park 🙂 Credits to his Daddy for taking these photos.

There are things that I think are more valuable to me now after I became a mother. One of those is the ability to breastfeed my son. It is tiring for most moms, but truly fulfilling. (At least for me, that’s how I feel after seeing him satisfied and happy that he’a able to latch on me. His “Mommy, busog na po ako” smile melts my heart.)  Here’s a fact: I feel comfortable and I think I gained extra confidence when I’ve decided to breastfeed my little man. It’s so easy when you’re at the comfort of your home.
You don’t have to wear your bra and you just have to pull up your shirt if the baby cries because of hunger. But what if you’re in a public place?

At first, I wasn’t open to the idea of breastfeeding my dear little Gabriel in public places. Even though we have a nursing cover, I would feel uneasy and conscious because I do feel the judging eyes looking at me. I am wondering what are they thinking about me and that adds up to stress that’s in me aside from the sound of a cry for food from my baby. A stressed breastfeeding mother will have a hard time getting the let down of milk therefore will result to a more agitated, hungry crying baby. That limits me from going out of the house with or without my little one because I am always thinking of him getting hungry in places where breastfeeding stations are not available. (And also limits me to go to places where lactation rooms are available!)

But one day, I was with my husband in Jollibee, Sucat  because we’ve decided to eat first since the place is just near our home. Without having any idea that there will be thunderstorm in P’que, we dined in. I fed my little man in one corner under the nursing cover. He was sweating but I cannot do anything because I do not want to interrupt his latch on me. I just wiped his sweat using a cloth. There were some people looking at us but I tried not to mind them. I was also hungry that time and all I want is for my husband to arrive with my chicken spaghetti so I could eat. While we were eating, it started raining. It was so heavy that some people opt to come inside Jollibee just to rid themselves of being wet. When we finished our meal, we gave way to other diners for them to use our table. Bryan, my husband, tried to find a cab for us but unfortunately they are turning us down informing us that the way to our home is already flooded and no car could pass through. Other cabs would also offer a ride but will charge us double the amount of regular fare which we turned down. Some drivers will really take advantage of that kind of situation just to earn more money and we’re not gonna tolerate that. Sorry na lang mga kuya! Bleh! 😛

Little Gabriel was asleep in momma’s chest as I was wearing him using a baby wrap. He’s always like that when I do babywearing. Behave and asleep. So we decided to stay in Jollibee and wait for the rain to stop and the flood to subside. It’s just fine until Gabriel woke up and cried out loud. He cried, and cried, and cried. Loud enough for people to notice us and look at me with questioning eyes. I can hear some whisper that maybe the baby is hungry. I felt the overwhelming pressure because there are no available chairs for me to sit in and feed him and use a cover. I can feel Gabriel’s cry for hunger and sleepiness and I feel helpless. Left with no choice, I took a deep breath and faced the wall, lowered down the wrap so he’s on level with my breasts. I unbuttoned my shirt, and made him latch. And there we are, breastfeeding in public without a cover for the first time. I think some people are still looking at us because of the sudden silence but I really didn’t mind them at all…

After some minute, he again fell asleep. And boy, t’was a relief! Fulfilling as it is for both of us. The happy hormones are tickling every inch of my body because first, I was able to calm Gabriel; and second, I fed him in a public place without using a nursing cover! 🙂

I felt like I’ve hit another milestone in my motherhood journey. From then on, breastfeeding is no problem at all, be it inside our home or in public places. Of course I will feed my son  in a room whenever there is a designated area for nursing moms. Nonetheless, I will just find a corner, unbutton my shirt and use my white wash cloth to cover the exposed part and latch him on my nipple. There’s nothing wrong with that act, so why be ashamed right?

 

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Im busy rockin’ Motherhood.

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Hello world! I’m assuming that my blog is being read by different people of different races and time zones all over the world. So yeah, my greeting will be just like that.

Right now, i’m contemplating about how come other moms can do  what they’ve got to do and still keep up with the world and stay sane. I think they are really one of the super mamas! May be they are also friends with my Mother. How do I say so? I am a daughter of a mother who has 3 children including me. She is a teacher, writes her lesson plan, does her visual aids and yet she can still take care of her family and the house chores; cooks delicious meal and maintains the kitchen clean. That’s my Mama. She’s a super Mama!

Now that I’ve become a Mama, too… I feel bad that I’ve not inherited my mother’s super powers. I suck at cooking, can’t maintain the house clean, i’m almost always sleepy in the morning, and afternoon, and even in the evening. My productivity level seems a bit low. And yet, I still feel like I am busy most of the time. Seriously! 24 hours is never enough!

Since motherhood began, even I wanted to read a book, I just can go on for no more than 10 pages. Either I fell asleep or the baby will wake up. Whenever I attempt to write, I cannot even finish an article to publish here on my blog in just one sitting! (Note: I started drafting this one last Thursday evening.) Even a 10-minute shower is already a luxury.

How come? How come other moms out there can pull off motherhood so gracefully? They still look their best even after having 3 children. While I cannot even comb my hair when I’m at home and I only have one baby! Lol.

Yes, it’s Motherhood! Motherhood makes me a busy person. And it feels good when I have spare time to myself. To brush my teeth, or put on lip balm to my cracked lips. Even 5 minutes of some me-time means a lot to moms like me who don’t have a house helper. Of course, I consider getting one but our home is studio unit in size. Unfortunately, we don’t have a room and the space is good only for my little loving family. That’s why it’s becoming hard for me to manage my time when i’m at home. There are times that I still do the laundry in the midnight because my little one is already asleep by that time. That is my only super power I guess. Doing the chores when the baby is finally asleep! Maybe some super powers of mine are yet to be discovered in the future. Hahaha!

I remember that one morning while I’m on my way to the office building when I came across with a colleague who greeted me with “Uy Mitch, puyat ka noh?”. And I was caught off-guard that all I’ve managed to do was just nod and smile though deep inside, I wanted to go back home and take a bath again! May be I looked so losyang that moment. I felt insecure in an instant. Maybe I look like a lifeless human being or a zombie even, walking in the streets of Makati. I’ve gone straight to the restroom to look at myself in the mirror, splash some water in my face, (yeah, just like in the movies!) and comb my hair using my fingertips. Then I smiled. I just told myself, mentally of course, that this is just a phase and this too shall pass. I will get used to this. After all, I’m still doing great being a Mom. At least that’s what I want to believe in.

Nonetheless, I love motherhood. It’s a tough job, but it’s worth the time and effort. It is priceless. Honestly, I would always wonder what am I called for in this earth. And I think it is Motherhood because it gives me the fulfillment I have never experienced before. That even though it’s a tiring thing to be mother, that I may feel a bit exhausted and that 24 hours is not enough for motherly duties alone, it is something that I have prayed for every single night of my life. It’s what I have hoped for. That someday I will have my own family to love and care for. This might sound like an answer to a prestigious beauty pageant but I appreciate my very essence as a woman. To nurture and love my son and husband, and to serve the Lord. (I’m Michelle Deveza-Adriano, 23 years old, Philippines!!!! LOL!)

 

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